CALL ME WHEN YOU’VE SEEN THE AVENGERS.
| Me: | I tried to read that article you gave me, but the website is malicious. |
|---|---|
| Mom: | Oh are they mean? I didn't read the whole thing. |
You have that site, right? Friendpage? Friendpatch?
oh wow even the dog’s white
I just didn’t understand how you could work greater than three into a sentence ….
He wants to eat his cake and also have it at the same time!
It’s not really your brother’s fault that I’m allergic to fish. I just happened to be pregnant with him when it started. I tell him it’s his fault though. I like to play little games!
| Me: | Just tell him I don't eat ham. |
|---|---|
| Mom: | We're not doing a ham anymore. I have a turkey in my freezer. |
| Me: | Oh. |
| Mom: | I got it for free at the supermarket because I spent so much money! |
Mom: Honey, you know this BEEYONS?
Me: Mom, it’s BEEYON-SAY
Mom: Oh. OK.
Me: What about her?
Mom: I don’t know, these people *rolls eyes*
| Homophobic Lady: | Gay marriage! |
|---|---|
| Mom: | What's wrong with it? |
| Homophobic Lady: | Next they'll want to marry their cats and dogs! |
| Mom: | Are you kidding? I'd be FIRST in line to marry my cat!! |
